Snuffles and Firewhiskey
by lizzzsunshine
Summary: Mrs. Potter can't find her children, or, how Sirius was given the nickname Snuffles. James/Sirius friendship one-shot. Stand alone excerpt from GTTN.


**Snuffles and Firewhiskey**

* * *

 **Summer, 1976 — Potter Manor**

* * *

"James? Sirius?" a magically-magnified voice called in the distance. "Where are you? It's almost time for dinner!"

Amongst the foliage of a small wood near a handsome manor house, a majestic, russet-colored stag halted mid-canter, hooves skidding against the earthy ground. A shaggy black dog, who had been rutting on his back in the tall grass of a nearby clearing, stiffened, paws in the air, before rolling over to sit back on his haunches. The dog's ears perked and his snout rose, sniffing wildly as the scent of Sunday roast wafted toward the two animals. The stag shot an unnatural, humanlike look of panic at the dog, and then suddenly, the stag was no more.

In its place stood a lanky teenaged wizard, black hair even more untidy than usual, clothing rumpled and dirty from the jaunt outdoors.

"What the hell, Sirius?" said James Potter, brushing a bit of grass from his hair. "Change the fuck back. Mum's holding dinner for us."

The dog acknowledged the wizard with a bark, and then stood stock-still, a look of intense concentration in his steely gray eyes. James watched expectantly.

But nothing happened.

The canine relaxed and turned to James, eyes wide with shock.

"You can't change back?" asked James. The dog shook his head. "Well why the fuck not?"

The dog gave James a significant look.

James groaned. "You've gotten into Dad's stash of Firewhiskey again, haven't you?"

The dog barked once more in response.

James seemed to take this as an admission of guilt. He smacked his forehead with the heel of his hand in exasperation. "Bloody-sodding-hell, Padfoot. How many times have I warned you not to transform after drinking? And you didn't even share? I'm going to have to come up with a really great lie for this one…"

The dog simply wagged his long tail happily and began to trot toward Potter Manor, which was perched proudly on a hill in the distance.

"Hold up, you mangy mutt!" James called as he jogged after the dog.

* * *

Dorea Potter was waiting in the expansive garden that led to the rear entrance of her home. She was a venerable-looking witch, garbed in elegant French-made robes, graying hair swept into a polished chignon. A trace of the haughty disposition of the Black family was discernable in her otherwise kind features.

As her son approached, she eyed his disheveled state suspiciously. "What kept you? Where is Sirius?" She paused, noticing the massive black dog at James's heel. "And where in the name of Merlin did you find a _dog?"_

James's eyes darted rapidly from his mother to the amused-looking dog in silent alarm. "Er—hey, mum. Sirius is…" He broke off, minding working frantically. "Visiting Remus! Yeah, he decided to have dinner with Remus's family this evening." He gave a nonchalant shrug, obviously playing for time. "You know how he is, always has to be out somewhere doing something."

"And the dog?" Dorea asked again, eyes appraising the panting animal. The dog's tail began to wag even more rapidly.

"And the dog—" James repeated slowly, waiting for the answer to miraculously come to him, "—is Peter's! He asked me to watch it today while he's, er—away."

James rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, very aware that this was undeniably the _worst_ lie he'd ever attempted.

His mother raised her eyebrows skeptically at the poorly delivered fib. "So Sirius is at the Lupins—without notifying anyone—while you're at home, acting as pet-sitter for Peter," she surmised, giving James a pointed look.

"Er—yes?"

Dorea was evidently accustomed to her adolescent son's antics. "Well, if you say so. Tell Sirius to inform us next time. A mother must always know where her children are."

James nodded in relief as he followed his mother through the double doors of the stately manor. Sirius, still in his animagus form, padded along behind the two Potters, tail still wagging eagerly.

"So, does this—" She turned to scrutinize the canine, wrinkling her nose at the muddy paw prints sullying her usually pristine marble floors. " _—dog_ have a name?"

Another wave of panic washed over James, but out of nowhere, he recalled a television program he had watched years ago with a kid from the nearby village. Alfie, the Muggle neighbor boy, had called it a _cartoon._

A wicked grin spread across James's dirt-smudged face.

"Yep. Sure does." He reached down and patted the dog's shaggy head. "This here is _Snuffles."_

The dog gave a loud, indignant yelp.

"Snuffles?" repeated Dorea, arching a dark eyebrow. "I think you should have a talk with Peter about what is and what is not a proper name to give a pet."

"I'll get on that," James replied, scratching the dog placatingly behind an ear. "Maybe we have some dog biscuits for you somewhere," he said to the dog in a babyish tone. "What do you think, _Snuffles?"_

Dorea Potter brought a hand to her mouth to hide her smile as the great black dog rolled his eyes.

She was proud to have such brilliant sons.

* * *

A few hours later, the two teenaged wizards sat cross-legged on the floor of James's bedroom, sharing a half-empty bottle of Firewhiskey over a game of Exploding Snap.

"So… why Snuffles?"

"No fucking clue, mate."

Sirius threw down a card. "You know, dog biscuits really aren't half bad."

The card Sirius had just played exploded with a loud _bang._

James roared with laughter.

* * *

 **(A/N):** This is another little stand alone excerpt from GTTN that I decided to publish as a one-shot. I recommend a quick Google search of "Hanna-Barbera Snuffles" to understand the reference. Also, I'm aware that James's parents are canonically Fleamont and Euphemia, but I really liked the headcanon of Charlus and Dorea, which was popular before the Pottermore article, so I decided to go with it for my main fic.

I hope you enjoyed a little James and Sirius friendship :) please leave a review and let me know what you think!


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